Tuesday 27 September 2016

Draft 2

According to the “Sustainability Efforts” (n.d.) webpage taken from Gardens by the Bay (GBTB) website, heavy emphasis has been placed on achieving environmental sustainability. Firstly, GBTB uses their lake system to filter water naturally with aquatic plants. This system aims to promote the importance of clean water and how plants can play a significant role in our ecosystem. Also, the web page further explained the two conservatories which consume lesser energy due to the specially chosen glass, along with the incorporation of thermal stratification and “Combined Heat Power (CHP) steam turbine”. Some “Supertrees” in GBTB act as the exhaust air storage while others have solar cells to collect solar energy. I acknowledge the effort GBTB did to reduce pollution and conserve energy however

Environmental sustainability start by protecting our environment. We should be protecting our ecosystems by not wasting any resources (Mason, n.d.). Protect our environment from any preventable damage will be the key to this sustainability. 

References: 
Sustainability Efforts (n.d.). Retrieved September 19, 2016, from http://www.gardensbythebay.com.sg/en/the-gardens/about-us/sustainability.html 


Reader response  

In my opinion "The Garden By The Bay" did a great job to conserve energy and reduce pollution.The Dragonfly lake and the Kingfisher lake is able maintain the aquatic ecosystem for the fish and dragonfly living in the lake by using reed beds and aquatic plants for the water cleaning process, like provides the benefit of nutrients and pollution absorption  . It does not requires a lot of energy input hence it is very environmentally friendly (“Reed-Beds,”n.d.).  

The meaning of Sustainability , is the ability of a system to maintain its function over a extended period of time. Hence it also mean that sustainable is design to be made of recycled material, renewable energy ,non toxic to the environment. (Gardens By the Bay and its sustainability"[October 2013])  All the method stated in the webpage is telling us how it is able to conserve energy, preserve habitat for animals, without showing any evident or statistic to support the claim.However it can prove to be true if the "Gardens By The Bay " is able to endure the test of time and maintain the conditions for the next few decades. Since it is sustainable infrastructure, the function should not only be a tourist attraction but also a function as a research institute and help to educate public the importance of energy saving  

The "Super Tree" is a large structure that is made of reinforced concrete wrapped with a steel frame . Planting panel are installed on the trunk. It is as tall as a 16 -storey building. Some of it have photovoltaic cells to harvest solar energy for lighting up the Supertrees, while the other is build with the Cooled Conservatories and serve as air exhaust receptacles. 

Sustainability is important in both developed and developing nations around the world, a lack of, or compromised access to, clean water, sanitation, energy and transportation severely compromises well-being and the economy.  Sustainable infrastructure design is not just about new infrastructure. It is about rehabilitation, reuse or optimisation of existing infrastructure. This will reduced the cost of building a new building , it will also conserve more energy, material and minimising the waste produce. The aim of  "Sustainability" is to reduce the waste as much as possible , as to prevent the problem such as global warming to get worst then it is now.                   

References: 
Sustainability Efforts (n.d.). Retrieved September 19, 2016, from http://www.gardensbythebay.com.sg/en/the-gardens/aboutus/sustainability.html

3 comments:

  1. Hi!
    The summary manages to summarize the content of the article well. Details such as "Garden lake system", "supertrees", and "reduce up to 30% of energy consumption" are found in the summary. However, the first sentence of the summary does not fully explain the content and purpose of the article. There is a clear transition from your summary to your reader response as the thesis can be located easily.
    The reader's response supports the thesis, like how it was explained that the article did not include claims or data to support the information. However, the arrangement of the reader's response could be improved.
    -Fazira

    ReplyDelete
  2. Comments, part 1

    Thanks for your effort, Calvin. This is a fairly comprehensive summary. Your thesis needs a more precise focus though. Also, this paragraph needs to be connected to your response, directly.

    1) According to the “Sustainability Efforts” (n.d.) webpage taken from Gardens by the Bay (GBTB) website much effort was made to plan and design for sustainability for water and energy throughout the Gardens. >>> good overview sentence

    2) The "Garden lake system" was implemented on two lakes , Dragonfly lake and Kingfisher lake. >>> (caps needed on the lakes)

    3) Water from the lake is cleansed by the aquatic plant before going to the reservoir. >>> one plant?

    4) The lake system depicts the role and importance of plants in the healthy of our ecosystem. >>> huh? depicts? healthy or health?

    5) Aquatic plant played an important role in nature and highlight the significance of clean water in sustaining biodiversity. >>> (inconsistent verb tense usage)

    6) The conservatories are a statement in sustainable engineering and apply a suite of cuttings-edge technologies for energy. >>> It seems you need a transition word before this sentence.

    7) The technologies can reduce up to 30% of the energy consumption when compared to conventional cooling technologies. >>> which technologies?

    8) Furthermore, in the webpage the "supertrees" ... >>> according to the webpage

    9) ...are able to harvest electricity and light up at night as these trees are install with photovoltaic cell. >>> (verb form)

    10) I acknowledge the fact that the garden conserve energy and reduce pollution using the sustainability guidelines, however it did not state why it is important and the problem it is facing. >>> (run on sentence/ comma splice)
    see https://owl.english.purdue.edu/engagement/2/1/34/

    11) the garden conserve energy and reduce pollution >>> (subject verb disagreement)

    12) Your thesis needs to be refined. What is the contentious issue?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Comments 2

    13) "The Garden By The Bay" >>> correct?

    14) The Dragonfly lake and the Kingfisher lake is able maintain the aquatic ecosystem for the fish and dragonfly living in the lake by using reed beds and aquatic plants for the water cleaning process... >>> Various language problems: (verb form/capitalization/plural)

    15) like provides the benefit of nutrients and pollution absorption. >>> Huh?

    16) does not requires >>> (wrong verb form)

    17) It does not requires a lot of energy input hence it is very environmentally friendly (“Reed-Beds,”n.d.). >>> (comma splice)

    see https://owl.english.purdue.edu/engagement/2/1/34/

    18) The meaning of Sustainability , is the ability of a system to maintain its function over a extended period of time. >>> very sloppy: Why is sustainability capitalized? Why is there a comma after it?

    19) Hence it also mean >>> ?

    20) (Gardens By the Bay and its sustainability"[October 2013]) >>>
    correct citation convention?

    21) All the method stated in the webpage is telling us.... >>>
    (sloppy language use)
    All the methods stated on the webpage tell us / demonstrate for us

    22) any evident or statistic >>> (wrong word form)

    23) Some of it >>> some of them

    23.1) Planting panel are... >>> (subject verb disagreement)

    24) Sustainability is important in both developed and developing nations around the world, a lack of, or compromised access to, clean water, sanitation, energy and transportation severely compromises well-being and the economy. >>> Huh? (sentence structure issues)

    25) This will reduced >>> (wrong verb form)

    26) is build >>> (wrong verb form)

    27) The aim of "Sustainability" is to reduce the waste as much as possible , as to prevent the problem such as global warming to get worst then it is now. >>> (sentence structure)

    As mentioned at the top of the previous comments page, you really need to work on this Calvin. You have many problems in language use. Please see my specific comments. Just as problematic is the organization of this essay. You need to look at the 'outline' portion of the unit on Thesis Statements and develop an OUTLINE of your ideas. I really don't understand what your focus is. We need to work to shape this paper into a more coherent response.

    ReplyDelete